Once the Emotional Problems are Dealt With…

Then the practical problems become easier - Dr Micheal Edelstein.

This is art therapy. The satisfaction I gain from solving the practical problems of life is connected with having dealt with my emotional issues. These are invariably fear and shame and embarrassment as the two (for me) primary unhealthy negative emotions that ride along with anxiety. This reminds of the wraiths of The Fellowship of the Ring, Tolkien's master literary series.

In this very similar way having debilitating anxiety is like being a wraith, a mere shadow of self, afraid to take reasonable risks. My Mother was afraid of riding in aeroplanes and elevators and also going out in public.

In a time of transition in my young life I was afraid of being a passenger in a car, I mean terrorized. It came up in times of transition and went away as life settled down to some routine, any routine as long as it medicates the fear. Routines like drug addiction are actually a routine addiction to medicate terror.

Now I ‘m thinking that the religious cult ritual is an addiction which medicates the anxiety that the organization perpetuates at best or creates at worst.

Now I find myself looking at my lost opportunities due to fear of breaking my safe routine, not wanting the terrors again.

The Slave Fears The Whip

Finally getting to a professional Art School, an anti-cookie-cutter-rubber-stamp art device, as an adult student and exposing my artwork to critique which feels like abusive criticism but isn’t at all, was/is a major success in my life of overcoming over-anxiety. I thought my wife was supporting me in this but she was using my fears to keep me in emotional bondage. Fear of being abandoned again. In fact, I already was, in fact she only offered intimacy as the interlude to abuse, like any common con artist. “You’re so grateful for the small kindnesses they bestow in between periods of covert and overt abuse that you agree with their criticisms and devaluations.” — Shrink4Men — Dr. Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD.

So, I sit here and enjoy the technical problem solving (of composing this on my phone) because I look at my life differently: “Once the Emotional Problems are Dealt With…

Then the practical problems become easier - Dr Micheal Edelstein.

This is art therapy. The satisfaction I gain from solving the practical problems of life is connected with having dealt with my emotional issues. These are invariably fear and shame and embarrassment as the two (for me) primary unhealthy negative emotions that ride along with anxiety. This reminds of the wraiths of The Fellowship of the Ring, Tolkien's master literary series.

In this very similar way having debilitating anxiety is like being a wraith, a mere shadow of self, afraid to take reasonable risks. My Mother was afraid of riding in aeroplanes and elevators and also going out in public.

In a time of transition in my young life I was afraid of being a passenger in a car, I mean terrorized. It came up in times of transition and went away as life settled down to some routine, any routine as long as it medicates the fear. Routines like drug addiction are actually a routine addiction to medicate terror.

Now I ‘m thinking that religious cult ritual in addiction which medicates the anxiety that the organization perpetuate at best or creates at worst.

Now I find myself looking at my lost opportunities due to fear of breaking my safe routine, not wanting the terrors again.

The Slave Fears The Whip

Finally getting to Art School, an anti-cookie-cutter-rubber-stamp art device, as an adult student and exposing my artwork to critique which feels like abusive criticism but isn’t at all, was/is a major success in my life of overcoming over-anxiety. I thought my wife was supporting me in this but she was using my fears to keep me in emotional bondage. Fear of being abandoned again. In fact, I already was, in fact she only offered intimacy as the interlude to abuse, like any common abuser. You’re so grateful for the small kindnesses they bestow in between periods of covert and overt abuse that you agree with their criticisms and devaluations.” — Shrink4Men — Dr. Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD.

So,I sit here and enjoy the technical problem solving because I look at my life differently: “When things are not to your liking, and you can’t change them, you can tell yourself, “I wish they were different, but it’s not the end of the world, and it won’t kill me if I have to keep putting up with them. Then try to learn from them, accept them as challenges, and see if there is some way you can use them in your life. If that doesn’t work, do your best to ignore them and do something else you enjoy doing” Albert Ellis