I happened to watch a video on narcissism and birthdays, how the narcissist is perpetually invalidating others, undervaluing, so that when family and siblings have a big day, it is undermined.
My sister went so far as to say I’m not family, one brother just hurls abuse, another when I invited him to my ceremony to honour receiving my degree, said I was just showing off. My mother just changed the subject on to herself and the loss of my father who died at 40 of lung cancer to simply get some love and attention from hospital staff, a common narcissist’s child strategy. He married his mother.
So the solution I have been taught by psychotherapists has been to set boundaries with the abusers, go low or non contact, then having dealt with the situation, ignore it and focus on satisfactions.
And most of all, to see myself as valid, adequate and effective.