I was headed for coffee at the drive through place. It was busy; a car blocked the intersection to get in line. I found myself irritated that the driver would break the law and inconvenience everyone so I sat on my horn. I felt really irritated. ❦ Other people must do “the right thing” or else they are no good and deserve to be punished.❦
Previously I had overheard a resident at coffee smearing me; I interrupted and angrily disputed her assertion of my ignorance. (I had dared to disagree with her). I felt anger and expressed myself strongly. ❦I must do well and win the approval of others or else I am no good.❦
Folks asked me if I was coming to the dinner I said no I am not able to cut the food being served with only one hand (let alone carry a buffet plate to the table while using a cane). They just turned away and talked about more comfortable things. I felt disappointed and depressed. ❦Life must be easy, without discomfort or inconvenience.❦
A resident up the hall put out a xmas display in the hallway that played carols and they intruded in my home. I knocked on her door, no answer, so I left a brief note talking about the intrusiveness, and emailed the management, also no response. Several hours later the woman still hadn’t returned so I turned off her display. I felt anxious and worried about the consequences of asserting my rights. I slept poorly. ❦I must do well and win the approval of others or else I am no good.❦
Is it true that I can’t stand the selfish lack of caring and non-empathy of others? Is it true that I am no good? Is it true that I can’t stand discomfort and inconvenience?
There is no evidence for these beliefs
Self Helping Behaviours
Talking to strangers like Olga in the laundry room and flirting. I asked her for a hug which she gave me and blushed.
Flirted with the clerk in the grocery, smiled at folks while out and about, getting nice smiles back.
Bantering around the building bully’s who don’t get the jokes and leave.
Verbally appreciated Norma for her offer of getting the door, which I declined saying I don’t really need any help.