Time To Ignore ‘Con te partirò’
In this link in the title, a father and daughter are singing. In English, the lyrics seem to tell the story of a protagonist who is saying goodbye to countries they never saw or shared with his lover.
So, as Pema Chödrön, an American nun and my former Buddhist teacher, said, make loss bittersweet.
That is of course an all or nothing cognitive distortion, one of the many lies we tell ourselves that upset ourselves.
My losses due to being a victim of narcissistic abuse are bitter with no sweet involved.
It seems that being vulnerable to narcissistic love-bombing (we all are) I have suffered their dumping and smearing many times over. The loss is of a kind where I have been undervalued after being overvalued. It’s bitter without the sweet. It’s all my fault they would have me believe, and I did.
As a result, I have lost career opportunities, finances, the esteem of self, homes, and most of all, the opportunity to have children. The constant high cortisol in my life resulted in a stroke several years ago so I lost half my body, to paralysis.
Then along comes Albert Ellis who said deal with your loss, usually some professional therapy in my case, then simply ignore it, in his typical elegant and simple solution style. Then, he says, focus on satisfactions, for the purpose of life is satisfaction.
‘Con te partirò’ becomes ‘time to ignore’.
Simple elegant and sweet indeed.
