The Pedantia of Prostates
Initially, as I awoke this morning, I was musing over Greg the Gay, a common run of the mill narcissist I met here in the recovery hospital. Typical of his ilk he was very nice at first even when he announced he was gay and I replied I didn’t care as I felt no attraction towards him.
His personality defects didn’t allow him to finish things, like the art school we both went to. He was helpless, feigned or not, I don’t know. He claimed technical acumen in programming with Java yet I had to help with simple computer tasks. I said he could help with my Java projects but he changed the subject.
What brought him to mind was my sleeve. In my soup. He seemed to be bothered by that, but when you’ve had a stroke you get sleeves in your soup, and I had just washed my sleeve, putting it on nice and clean this A.M. I was also putting on Gregs’ abuse, ruminating, even though he and his shitty prostate were long gone, along with the money I had ‘lent’ him, never to return.
I had emailed him but now I was in the dump smear stage of his personality defect process, all I got back was abuse.
So like an unhealthy prostate he prevented a healthy relationship with itself which includes things like urinating or ejaculating, completing a healthy urge, leaving one in the lurch.
All narcissists do this around things sexual, they need to control others urges, like orgasm and other healthy self satisfying choices.
Control
Control
Control
Lest they be discovered for the incomplete creatures that they are.
So this explains to me why I was abandoned in childhood by my immediate family and my subsequent intense frustration of being an orphan in plain sight. Pissed off at every level of society for not caring for an abandonded child.
At 14 I was asserting my right to care and was thrown out for it. Homeless at 14. These people simply don’t care.
So at age 14 I walked away to help myself.