Marriage

to a predator

Last night I gave away the last remaining artifact of my marriage. It was a ceramic cookie jar wedding present, I’ve hung on to, sitting on the counter silently manipulating me with shame and embarrassment guilt and obligation. A valuable piece of art that couldn’t be discarded.

Carol Anne Graham was so kind and so sweet, I was so vulnerable, no defenses left when she said, “why don’t we get married?” Orphans at vulnerable times with few supports are easy marks, the target market for mark recruitment according to M in Skyfall. And every yoga school, monastery, religion that ever existed. From grooming (I was a groom) to smearing… overvalue (you feel so loved all the chemicals of emotion responding) undervaluing, dumping then finally smearing, manipulated with fear obligation and guilt.

You want to study art? They don’t make any money! Gaslighting extraordinaire.

The sad predictable saga was described by Paul Simon:

It was not my fault. Predators lie and manipulate convincingly. I was hunted & predated finally dumped. She manipulated by withholding sex and being a victim like all narcissists. Refused counselling. Gaslighting me and I was convinced it was all my fault until 30 years later I read Dr. Tara Palmatier.

carol anne graham

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Jerald W. Blackstock

Jerald W. Blackstock

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meditation, reportage, blog, humour piece, eulogy, autobiographical slice, diatribe, list, collage, mosaic, lecture, or letter