Indentured Servants

With a simple statement, found on a psychologist’s site, ”They have no empathy so they can’t change” things fell into place. The ‘things’ are episodes of abuse from my sibling family where they had charmingly convinced me that they had changed and they hadn’t. My yearning and frustration abated.

My lifetime has been spent deprogramming from the notion that their abuse was my fault because I expressed my frustration with their lies and abandonment. I drove them away I believed. The notion that I must be perfect and be liked (by everyone) and do well (money) or else my family and therefore everyone will dump me, is a horrible slavery. I must not be alone; I cannot stand being alone because if I am, I am no good. Only losers are disliked and alone.

So, the consequences of these irrational concepts are depression and extreme anxiety leading to over indulging in feel good behaviors which led to a stroke 20 years after I had recovered using cognitive therapy and its powerful and elegant grandfather REBT. The lesions in my brain caused by decades of cigarettes and pot seemed to be the cause 20 years after I had overcome the addiction. No one really knows, shitty things happen to nice people, nice things happen to shitty people. Accept, accept, accept.

Now I am recovering from the stroke and living alone. Particular times are harder than others, like holidays, the trigger times. I have effective tools. Being non-religious I don’t celebrate holidays as I see them as emotional control and manipulation by manufacturers and religious big business for my brand loyalty and my cash.

All religion and nationalism brand loyalty, team loyalty, is fascistic. The goal of competition is to kill the competitor according to Swami Radha my former cult guru and programmer who didn’t like me much and dumped me as well when I spoke up, asking for evidence for beliefs. Where is it written that I must be liked and not be alone or else I am no good? It is written in the bible, from my cultural cult of programming of origin and in all the rest of religious literature. So if you are a loser, alone and vulnerable due to abuse we can accept you and make you happy.


the love hormone is generated in brains by group singing, nipple manipulating and masturbation. Only group singing is allowed at the Ashram, narcissists like to control sex.


the love hormone is generated in brains by group singing, nipple manipulating and masturbation. Only group singing is allowed at the Ashram, narcissists like to control sex.

For a price…

There is always a price in dollars for intentionally suspending disbelief. Traditionally you are asked to generate disbelief of getting a STD as a consequence of paying for your orgasm which generates oxytocin in the brain.

You are asked to disbelieve that you are perfectly imperfect (which generates healthy satisfying self helping behaviors) and to buy in that you require healing by these non-doctors, personal growth because you aren’t a mature adult somehow, and self development which is an undefined catch all for generic abuse. (Universities simply call it adult life-long education in whatever interests you.) The carnival snake oil guys offer spiritual (whatever that is) healing called Light and the Divine Feminine which they say (without evidence) is much needed in the world today because their form of nice fascism and team loyalty is better that everyone else who are losers as well as, you know, you.

So for $10,000.00 you can stay isolated from your friends and family in the woods and heavy labour for free in exchange for the love hormone which is generated in brains by group singing. Or you could stay home and generate it with nipple manipulating and masturbation. Or if you prefer to socialize your masturbation, you could use social skills and talk to strangers asking for what you want. If you don’t know how you can buy a book. An excellent one is $3.00 used by a real doctor.

I recently sent them an invoice and asked a personal injury lawyer to have a look at it.

I am waiting on response…



Jerald W. Blackstock First Person Reflections

Fine Artist Still and Time Based Fine Art and Social Satire by any means possible. Buy me a Coffee