Etiology of Narcissist Supply
“the investigation or attribution of the cause or reason for something, often expressed in terms of historical or mythical explanation.” — wiki
“Narcissistic supply refers to the constant supply of attention and admiration needed by narcissists. To gain this attention, narcissists will often use a “false self” that is likeable to attract people to them. However, because narcissists are unable to make healthy connections, they tend to target people who are more vulnerable in order to feed their supply.” — choosingtherapy.com/
I’m living in a new building after dumping the narc roommate that I chose to tolerate in order to afford a place that suited my convalescent needs after almost a year in hospital. Any port in a storm sailor. Besides, I became less vulnerable and he became more frustrated and lashing out as I gained strength.
They aren’t that bad at first, but no one can keep the act up forever. I recently learned this: that the outbreaks of the lashing out I have experienced my entire life are not my fault. We have all experienced this. It’s blindsiding. I never see it coming, apparently, no one does. If it were my fault it would occur with everybody. There would be evidence of etiology. The abused didn’t create the abuser.
The distance that narcs create with others is so they won't get caught. I was blamed, shamed and guilted as the reason but the real reason is they can’t create closeness and intimacy and no one can be acting all the time. They get caught.
I was called ‘needy’ and ‘addicted to love‘ when I asked for what I wanted with my ex-wife. A psychological diagnosis from someone not qualified used as an attack. (She was being coached by Fred, an industrial psychologist cult leader she was sleeping with). In her case, the deflection was to hide her other sex partners. I was devastated, convinced it was my fault, took years of therapy to see how this all works.
It’s why they isolate you from others. They don’t want folks comparing notes. They act differently with different people, almost like multiple personalities.
I was having a burger with Sheri-D, a performance artist/poet acquaintance when suddenly she lashed out and attacked me when I talked about…it doesn’t matter the subject, anything will trigger them. I was winning awards getting honours at art school and I felt I was talking to a supportive friend about it. She attacked. Jealousy? I placed my napkin over my uneaten burger and walked out. Say goodbye to crazy.
This guy explains it.