A Gentleman Always Has His Protection Handy

apologies to Robert Doisneau

Sodomy: Etymologies [Middle English sodomie, from Old French, from Sodome, Sodom, from Latin Sodoma, from Greek, from Hebrew sədōm.]

From Sodom, where the Bible, in Genesis chapters 18 and 19 and elsewhere, suggests sexual depravity.

OK! What is sexual depravity? Sex that is not for procreation.

So if you, a man, have sex, God forbid, for pleasure, you are an Onanist, shamed for spilling your seed. If you are a woman who has pleasure in any form not related to children, well, Jezebel is one of the kinder terms available.

This was the Canada, I grew up in: conservative, Anglican, working class and compared to the American Puritan interpretations, fairly liberal.

So women were not to have sex for pleasure, as sex was used to manipulate a suitable well paid man into pregnancy and then marriage. So, many women were against masturbation and condoms if they were to manipulate their way into the middle class life style. A financial decision because who wanted to have a job as a nurse or a teacher for ever, where you cared for others for a living if you were a narcissist with no empathy?

Abandonment of ones own children by narcissists is the leading cause of insanity according to Albert Ellis, creating the notion I must be liked and do well or I am a shit.

So, fast forward from the 1950’s where I was indoctrinated by the church to be uneducated and superstitious to 2024 where everyone, meaning Americans, are losing their Puritan shit over the abortion debate.

I see the abortion aspect as a form of birth control debate. The other aspects are between a woman and her doctors so are closed to me, this includes pregnancy by trauma as mental health is a health issue obviously.

It’s a simple question for me. Do I have a condom? If no then vaginal ejaculation is not an option. Simple. Most other options for mutually agreed upon sexual pleasure for both people are still open. In the religious Puritan world those other options come under the heading of sodomy. Options like mutual masturbation spring to mind. I read a sex therapist (whom I forget) when I was deeply guilty and ashamed about masturbation as a result of my early programming, who said that all sex is masturbation, we just chose who to share it with, socialized masturbation.

Another therapist said that intimacy is creating a space of emotional safety and honesty.

Ultimately, consensual hetero sex is where the man is responsible for birth control. Protecting both partners from disease and other unwanted consequences.